6.11.09

Noktah

now playing: Tangisan - Aku

Kita sentiasa tidak puas hati dengan apa yang kita ada. Kita selalu terlepas pandang apa yang ada di depan mata kita. Dan aku adalah diantara kita. Aku dah tak tahan lagi dengan keadaan yang tidak pasti ni. Aku lemah, dan aku tahu aku tidak sekuat insan yang lain. Perasaan aku sentiasa insecure. Aku rasa yang aku tidak mungkin dapat membahagiakan orang yang aku sayang. Aku seorang yang gagal.

Aku tahu aku mempunyai intan yang amat berharga, yang menyayangi aku. Tapi aku takut. Aku takut yang aku akan melukai intan yang sangat aku sayangi. Lagi lama aku simpan, lagi confuse aku. Aku sayang tapi aku tak boleh simpan. Aku tahu yang aku tidak layak untuk intan yang begitu berharga. Aku hanya seorang insan lemah yang selalu gagal mengawal perasaannya.

Hati dan perasaan memang tak boleh di buat main. Aku takut aku akan terus melukai, aku takut aku terus memberi harapan palsu, maka aku letakan noktah. Bukan aku telah menjumpai sinar baru atau membencimu tetapi aku sayang kan kau. Tidak mungkin akan ku jumpa sinar seindah kau lagi. Kau bukan saja buat aku tertawa tapi buat aku rasa melayang.

Setiap titisan air mata yang jatuh ni, menunjukan bertapa kau tidak dapat kulupai. Aku bukan mintak perpisahan cuma aku mintak ruang. Aku tidak tahu apa yang aku rasa dan fikir lagi. Aku bingung dan kebingungan aku ni akan melukai kau. Lebih baik kita menjadi seperti yang lain, berkawan.

Harapan ku, kau terus kan kehidupan ini kerana aku tahu kau kuat. Hati kau tidak selemah hati aku, dan ingat lah yang kau sentiasa dalam ingatan ku, dalam doa ku, dalam mimpi ku. Intan seperti kau tidak boleh dicari ganti. Hanya kau seorang sahaja. Mengenalimu adalah pengalaman yang paling berharga dan menyayangimu adalah sesuatu yang tidak boleh digambarkan. Aku tahu kau sedih, ingatlah yang kita mungkin tidak dapat bersama sekarang tetapi di akhirat kelak tiada siapa yang tahu.

Kita bukan mudah, menjadi kita memerlukan pengorbanan yang amat besar dan aku tahu sekiranya kita berjaya, Allah akan memberikan ganjaran yang amat besar, jauh lebih besar dari apa yang kita sangkakan. Aku mungkin bukan seorang yang tinggi ilmu agama, tapi aku tahu yang aku telah melakukan sesuatu yang betul. Aku harap kau juga redha dengan keadaan ini kerana ini lah keputusan yang terbaik untuk kita. Aku sayang kau.

*noktah

5.11.09

Si Kunang-Kunang

now playing: Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

It has been almost a week I stays at home. My routine is just the same. Waking up late, spending hours in the bathroom, munching cookies, reading books for finals and facebooking. If only I have option to opt to other things.

This coming Sunday there is a paper waiting for me. Huh, others gonna enjoy themselves and me gonna stuck with those exams. This is the fact that I have to face. Others busy with exams this week while me, enjoying the exam-free hours.

Starting this Sunday up to 19th, I have no time to facebook, to wake up late, to watch those cartoons at Nickelodeon. Am I sad? No I don't. But my TQ2000M and PSCI 3111 really scare me. My CAM is not sufficient for me to pass these two subjects. Dear Lord, please I don't want to repeat. I had enough.

Only this morning I realised that we are now in the 11th month of the year. It was quick! Another one month is 2010. I still don't feel anything or experienced anything. What should I talk on next year about this year? I have nothing! Or maybe, yeah talking shit like I wore Baju Melayu at Atikah's place and went to Cloth and Clef with it. Damn boring.

Now I know why my lecturer said human is the most boring creature ever live. They follow routine and never think of changing it. Congratulations people :)

*kunang-kunang tu ape?

3.11.09

Down Memory Lane

now playing: Ketulusan Hati - Anuar Zain

It is 4.04 in the morning and I'm still out of bed. I'm not at home, where my usual place when I update my blog, instead now I'm in UKM at my friend's room. It was few semesters back when I first time land my feet on UKM's ground. And it was at that time I first met E. It was my memory.

And tonight is not my second time though, it is my third :) Haha life has move on, E is no more here since E graduated last convocation. Me? I am still studying walking slowly towards my convocation day. Two more freaking years to go. Hehe never mind coz next year Z will graduate thus, I still can feel the vibe of convocation day :)

I'm not in the middle of holiday yet, I'm still in the middle of final exam. I just finished with my first paper yesterday which was TQ2000M and the next will be on this Sunday. Yeay I have almost a week to study which I don't think I will :p As mentioned that this semester is the worst semester ever, it seems that all the bad things are getting better. I don't know why but towards the end nih, I feel much more relax and enjoying my day :)

Alhamdulillah. I don't want my life to be miserable all the time. I'm hoping that next semester will be better. I don't know whether I should sleep now or not. I am not that sleepy but one thing for sure I need to put my full stop now although I want to tell you more about my outing to Putrajaya just now. Ok I will I will update you with that later. Tata...

*best nya si Bogo n Mso tido

24.10.09

For You Darling :)

now playing: We Are Golden - Mika




HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA :) !!!

*lalala happy nya aku :)

23.10.09

Sweet Dream

now playing: Body Language - Jesse McCartney

I went to read Faizul's blog and found that he is working in government office. How is that possible? He should not put himself in that freaking cubicle and mingles with government servants. Boring kot! See people, nowadays it is hard to find job and if we get one, it is not necessarily suite our interest. Now I am scared to think about my future. Should I work or continue with postgraduate studies.

Let the future decide ok! For now, I am trying very hard to make sure my life is fun and enjoyable. I don't like my everyday routine to be boring and pathetic. I know I can't avoid the busyness of being a student and not everyday is a sunny day. But what I want to do is to make sure that the busyness is fun. I can do that with the help of my darling friends. Hey Dina, Atikah, Din, Shaba, Lya, Nadiah, Alif, Kim, and others kan ada!

I can see that after today I'm going to enjoy my life more. I am ready to face many things and with Zaim beside me, I know that its going to be ok. I've decided what ever that I have to decide and I hope my decision is right. I don't want to cry anymore people!

*may He bless me :)

19.10.09

I Don't Have To Be Lady Gaga To Feel Like A Celebrity

now playing: The First One - Boys Like Girls

Hello people. This weekend was damn awesome. Two open houses in a row. Haha from Shah Alam to Kajang and end up at Bukit Bintang. I was tired but food punya pasal, aku redah je! Ok this post wasn't supposed to be wordy. Enjoy these pictures ok, I will upload more after this.



the glamour me and atikah

weirdo people


*huh baju melayu memang panas :)

14.10.09

Between You And Me

now playing: Real Thing - Boys like Girls

It was ten days ago I updated my blog. And since then, there was a lot of things happened. Life this semester is suck. I can't cope up with many things especially classes. Haha ironically I joined theatre again this semester and last weekend I was in UiTM, adjudicating inter-varsity debate.

I know that I am supposed to focus on my studies but debating and acting seems part of me now. Political Science? Haish I wonder what will I do with this degree. Definitely politician is not what I'm going to be. People never sees me as a Political Science student and it bores me. I think I am immune to people assuming me as Law student or English student and yaeh sometimes as KAED student. HELLO PEOPLE!!!

Stop crapping. I wonder what will happen to me if I was not accepted to study in IIU. Will I be this random or worst? Or what? I feel lucky kot having this chance to know my IIU friends. You guys memang terbaik! Urm... urm... should I type everything on blog? Should I state my status here? Hahaha I feel like telling the whole world that "I'M IN LOVE AGAIN" but it is impossible :)

*i wanna touch you... you wanna touch me too


4.10.09

Tanah Pusaka

now playing: Tanah Pusaka - Yusni Hamid

Sungguh gemilang negeriku
Yang kupuja oh tanah Malaysia
Diseluruh dunia negaraku
Yang berdaulat negaraku

Aman makmur kaya-raya
Selama-lama hidup maju jaya
Oh tanah pusaka
Negaraku yang berdaulat dan merdeka

Tanah pusaka bertuah
Berbagai bangsa didalamnya
Hidup aman dan bersama
Bertekun kerja untuk Malaysia

Musuh melanggarku gempur
Sungguh rela kugugur kerana
Kau tanah pusaka
Biar putih tulang jangan putih mata


According to my mama, originally this is not the lyric. Because the Chinese and Indian were accepted by us Malay to stay here on this land with us, this lyric changed. Malaysia was Melayu at first and Malaysia was Malaya. I am not being racist but why should we change Melayu to Malaysia. This is still our land, Malays' land. There is nothing wrong if we keep the word Melayu.


*hamba di bumi sendiri