Mungkinkah Ini Ketentuan

mood: Missing Someone

Since 5 days ago, I'm having mood imbalance. I feel lonely and I join as many activities as I can so that I will not feel the pain. But I don't think that is the solution. Last 3rd February, I lost all my documents, pictures and songs from my laptop. I was shock and sad but it wasn't long as I think it was a sign for me to start a new way to live this life.

Maybe this month is the best to begin as I was born on February. Should I do changes or should I improve? That is the major question that still flying in my mind. I don't really need the answer because I will find it while moving on with life.

Keeping my feeling secure inside is not a good thing anymore. I'm planning to spill them one day and I hope I will have the gut to do it. And trying to improve is not easy. People keep doing the same thing and afraid of going out from their comfort zone. Until up to the point where they actually create their own boundary and only think inside the boundary itself without thinking more.

Ok enough about me, me and me (who cares, this is my blog!)

I just came back from watching Avatar at Cineleisure with Fatin and Haneesa. I know I am a looser right for just watching this almost one month movie. And to confirm that I am a looser, this is just the second time I went for movie this year. The first one was with Za'im watching Sherlock Holmes (oh emm gee, Jude Law was hawt!!!).

I don't care much about going to cinema but for this coming February 11, it is a definite that I'm going to watch Valentines. Julia Robbert and Ashton Kutcher are acting. Dem it must be good. Maybe Mso will be my valentine. Hehe ye lah ade orang tu dah balik Johore. Kalau dia nak pulak datang KL, ok je :D I always wait for you.

Tomorrow is the River Clean Up day. I'm the program coordinator. Gosh I just hope that it's gonna be fine. Lately I don't even know what am I doing. I just know that I'm doing things because I want to avoid crying and thinking about that lucky person. That person is going to leave me and we don't even know when we are going to meet again.

I lost my files and I might lost that person too. Mso, kau jangan lak tinggal kan aku jugak. Stay je lah kat Subang tu. Bogo pon sama!

About last entries, the one that I hope to read the entries didn't do it. Hampa...

٩(●̮̮̃●̃)۶ aA

Continue >>>

February

mood: Ting Tong

February is a month that synonym with love. I was born on February and ironically I never found and understand love. Love is the most complicated subject for me.

But for the spirit of February, I will try to discover the true meaning of love. Hello February !! May I will find the love that i search all these while.

----------------------------

Perkara yang menyedihkan bagi ku:

1. Aku masuk ke bilik dia, dia terus off kan phone dia dan menyembunyikan phone tersebut ke dalam laci.
2. Aku basuh kan baju dia dan hantarkan spaghetty kepada dia, dia tak say thanks pon.
3. Aku call die banyak kali guna number aku, dia lansung tak angkat. Tapi bila aku guna number kawan aku, sekali je aku call terus angkat.

:( aku sedih kerana aku perasan. Mungkin dia tak perasan kot benda-benda ni semua. Dia sentiasa tak perasan kan aku.

٩(●̮̮̃●̃)۶ asna

Continue >>>

A Fresh New Morning

mood: Energetic

Hello everybody, Hello world!!! I prayed Subuh before seven today :D. Positive improvement eh. And I feel dem good. I hope there will be no more moody and gloomy entry after this. I know you love me kaan :D I love you all too. Now I'm gonna cook carbonara for Mso (my bestie). Rajin gila! And now, I'm waiting for my clothes to wash too :D

Today is Mso's Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANG~ He is my lesbian lover and I love him so much :D "Sayang, Baby hope sayang akan terus nampak mude" Lalala ini lah beliau yang comel tuh:

faboo~

Continue >>>

Kenapa Aku Down?

mood: Kembali Ceria

I'm wondering if I behaved normal lately. I miss someone I love. Someone who didn't call or even text me for almost two weeks. Part of me said that just let x go while the other said that x is still mine.


x, are you mine or not?

i love u~

Continue >>>

Touch

mood: Sleepy

rindu, x sms, x call. mungkin tujuan x nak unbarred. mencari aku sekelumit kasih, x jumpa. aku bukan dia. dia dapat masa, sms, good night wishes dan mungkin bukan perhatian tp ingatan. aku hanya melukut di tepi gantang, aku mamai. selamat malam~

faboo~

Continue >>>

Diva In Viva

mood: Melancholy plus Excited

You must be wondering why my moods are contradict. Hehe that is my feeling, uncertain. Should I stop or should I go on. I am confuse with my own feeling. STOP? or GO ON? Ape yang STOP and ape yang GO ON?

Technically I am single but me feeling is not. Is it weird? If it is, then it is normal to me. My feeling belongs to x but x loves y. I cannot force x to leave y. It is immoral and against human rights. The only option left is for me to stop loving x.

And after considering that only option, I must go on with my life. Go on means not to find new person, on the other hand, focusing on myself. Maybe this drama is a sign sent to me by God telling that I am not ready and I need to stabilise my life first.

Graduate with first class degree and obtain good job with good salary are my dreams. These are the stepping stone for me to achieve good life. I don't need love or sympathy to achieve my goals. What I need is to believe in myself.

So, who ever is reading this entry, please love your love one with all your heart. Do not share it as I dont believe that we can share our love. One is enough and please focus on that one. And one more thing, don't lie to yourself. Make a clear stand and go on with that stand. If you love two people at one time, one of them maybe suffering without you knowing.

This is a reminder for all including me who always fail in love. I am blind not love.

faboo~

Continue >>>

Wrong Updates

mood: Bitchy

Terlihat aku akan seorang toddler yang innocent berlari mendapat kan his father. Hati aku sebak, terfikir aku bertapa berdosa nya aku ini. Kalau lah aku seperti that toddler happy je tak perlu fikir apa-apa dan bersih dari segala dosa. Ibarat plain white cloth. Tapi hidup tak semudah yang disangka terutama bagi kita-umat akhir zaman. Aku sujud, berdoa agar Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa aku.


----------------------------


Aku hanya mampu tertawa memikirkan persepsi orang terhadap aku. Kadang-kadang ada yang betul tapi most of the time it was wrong. Aku tak marah mahupun tak suka akan persepsi atau fikiran mereka. You can further read this entry if you want to know those perceptions :

1. Asna is a BEN (Bachelor of English) student or maybe a KAED (Kulliyyah of Architecture and Environmental Design) student.
2. Asna is a Law student (Oleh pakcik-pakcik dan makcik-makcik di kampung serta cousins yang tak berapa kenal).
3. Asna stays in KL.
4. Asna is the youngest in the family.
5. Asna goes clubbing.
6. Asna cannot swim.
7. Asna eat spicy food (for those who knew that I'm from Sbn actually)

faboo~

Continue >>>